Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Jim Zorn for Gubernor

You know what word I don't get? gubernatorial.

If you've never seen this word before, here's a little SAT quiz:

president is to presidential as governor is to...

you got it: governatorial. Even as I type the word, my browser has underlined it with an everlasting red ellipses because Firefox has been hoodwinked with the rest of the English speaking world. Now, I'm a lingual descriptivist, as opposed to a prescriptivist; meaning I think we tell the dictionary what to say, not the other way around. That's why it gets revised every so often, and words like 'phat' get added in and definitions like 'bundle of sticks' get taken out (at least it should be); dudes, you know what I'm referring to.
Evidently, gubernatorial goes back to the Latin word for governor: gubernator. If that doesn't make you think of Arnold, I don't know what will (save for those videos to your left).

There's a scene in the Truman Show where the head producer/director of the show (Ed Harris) is doing an interview on TV. The interviewer asks why Truman has never figured out that his whole life is a ruse? The director answers, "We accept the world around us; simple as that."

That's a powerful statement; the trouble is that it's generally true. That's why it's time to yank Webster over by the twisted ear and tell him that it's time to make things right. We can't just keep teaching kids in Civics that when someone runs for governor, he runs what's called a gubernatorial campaign. At least switch the b out for a v. We'll go for the u when it's time.

---

For some reason I laid in bed last night for about an hour just remembering. By just concentrating hard with my eyes closed I was able to remember some moments from my childhood clearer than I had in a long time. It was almost like when Peter (Pan) realized that the food really was there; he just wasn't believing hard enough and it wasn't until he closed his eyes really tight that he started to smell it. A lot of these memories were about my next door neighbor, Evan Balaban. He was a Jewish kid that went to Norfolk Collegiate and was the closest neighborhood friend I ever had. We would wash our parents cars for money ($5 to split). We would go to the bread store with my mom and roam the aisles picking out goodies to buy and split; although, we usually just ended up with a 2 liter of Mt. Dew, the holy grail for hyper young boys. We played little league baseball on the same team from when I was 7 until I was 13. We also played a lot of Duke Nukem and WCW/NWO Revenge. Evan was a little bit of a cry-baby and would run home if things weren't going his way, but I remember always just laughing at it.

Evan moved away to Virginia Beach when I was in 7th grade. I remember going to spend the night at his house once after that; all I remember about that night is QB Club '98 on N64. I never saw him again after that. Our friendship faded just like that. Maybe boyhood friendships aren't deep enough to last 30 miles of separation. The last memory I have of him living next door involved was he and I playing with his black lab, sitting on his couch. I had just told him that my dad was cheating on my mom and that he wasn't living at home anymore. This is all I remember:

"Why doesn't he just dump the other woman and get back together with your mom?" Evan asked.

I looked down at the ground and said, "I don't know."

The reason I remember this was that Evan asked me his question with such a 'duh' look on his face; the mouth open, one-eye-squinted look. He didn't understand what was so difficult about what my dad needed to do.
And neither did I.

I wish the ghost of Christmas past would visit me so I could walk around my memories and see them as who I am now. Hopefully he wouldn't show me a game that other people are playing where the goal of the game is to guess my name based on clues describing a despicable person. Maybe that was just in Scrooge's case.

---

Here are my thoughts on the Redskins (by popular request):

I like that Jim Zorn's close friends call him the "Z Man."



It's crucial to notice the shorts here. While he is the head coach, Zorn will also be assuming the duties of quarterbacks coach. I think the first thing he'll do for Jason Campbell's development is force him to wear the shorts. I can't imagine a more comfortable passing pocket.

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For scenario in point, an $eighty therapeutic therapeutic massage could be obtained by the customer for $forty by way of Groupon, and then Groupon and the retailer would break up the $forty. That is, the retailer offers a therapeutic therapeutic massage valued at $eighty and will get approximately $twenty from Groupon for it (beneath a fifty%/fifty% split). Or, if $240 really worth of home painting companies is bought by the buyer for $fifty by way of Groupon, then the company receives $25 and Groupon retains $twenty five. The customer will get the therapeutic massage, or the home painting support, in these examples, from the retailer for which they at 1st compensated $forty (or $fifty) to Groupon. There are certain companies to which Groupon to begin with did not source its solutions, which includes taking pictures ranges and strip clubs however, taking images ranges have been showcased on Groupon.

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