Saturday, March 29, 2008

social injustice

I've figured it out.

Part of becoming an adult in America is understanding that one is part of a larger community. The American community. This community needs its people to speak up when something is amiss. That's what democracy is all about. Well, the first thing on my agenda as a true American adult is: toilets.

You won't see legislators or even typical bloggers out there in cyberspace taking on this issue, but I see no reason to avoid it.

This whole motion-sensored life America is living in the bathroom needs to be re-examined. Soon the sensors will be so powerful that paper towels will spit out at me as I walk toward the urinal or stall. Each faucet will cut on and off as I walk by. The hand-driers will be set off as the door shuts behind me, turning the room into a tornado of paper towels. The scene will be as dramatic as a western gun-duel. These aspects of the bathroom are not my concern. It's when the business in the bathroom gets serious enough for stall use that I take issue.

Everyone knows those motion-sensor toilets never work like they're supposed to. Either they will never flush, and you'll wave your hands back and forth across the sensor to no avail, eventually being forced to leave your business unfinished as you exit the stall. Or the toilet will flush no less than 12 times before you're finished. This is a complete waste of water, and (WARNING: EXPLICIT MATERIAL) not to mention the unwanted mid-day bath you might receive depending on the strength of the toilet. The Baltimore airport was a perfect example of this last weekend. I would have been better off bringing a bar of soap, shampoo, and a towel. I have rarely had problems like these at the urinals, and I see no reason as to how urinal motion-sensors could have been designed with better technology than the toilet sensors. But such is life.

What is the reasoning behind these flushers? Well, I can imagine restaurants and airports were tired of people not flushing; so, they wanted to make it impossible for them not to not flush. Surely, some liberal threw in the matter of germs to the debate, and it was sustained.
Obviously, the result has become a complete back-fire (or should I say back-washing).
No one thinks a motion-sensor flusher is a bad idea, in theory, but it needs adjusting.
And I have figured it out.

There needs to be some trigger to set off the sensor other than someone getting up... Maybe we need to forget the notion of motion.
What does everyone do when they use a stall? They lock the door. What do they do when they leave? They unlock the door. You've probably figured it out by now. Make unlocking the stall door the trigger! No self-respecting, self-conscious American uses the stall without locking the door! Why not use this self-consciousness to better serve the American people?

I don't know how to go about making change. Do I go to my local senator or representative? Do I boycott public toilets? Surely, that will only be to my disadvantage.
All I know is: knowing is half the battle.

I'd like to thank people like George Costanza and Larry David (get it?) in encouraging me to speak out against social injustice. If it wasn't for them, I'd still be living in the dark.

speaking of...


Greg said...

I'd prefer a hands-free reading contraption.

mouse said...

im writing a term paper on social injustice in brazil.

Jon Allison said...

why, do they have the same problem?